Join me for a ride you'll never forget. I give you a sneak peek into the world of the forgotten warfighters and the hidden struggles we face when returning home to a country we cease to recognize.
Follow my journey while I sail through rough seas; then ignite the beacon for others to find safe passage out of the storm.
Expand your perspective. This wisdom is for all fighters who find themselves trapped in the spiritual battle beyond their 3d eyes. I live my life by the words I write, and will not go gentle into that good night. This is my Old Testament.
Introduction
In the summer of 2019, I sold my house and most of my possessions. I left a temporary low-wage dead-end job and said goodbye to my wife so I could venture on a minimalist solo off-road motorcycle trip around the world. I was fed up with it all and needed to find a life worth living. I sought to disconnect from the chaos to reconnect with the beauty in the world around me.
I’m self-aware enough to recognize the warning signs of an out-of-control-high-stress lifestyle accompanied by a decade of unresolved combat trauma. I’m a former 2/75th Army Ranger and Blackwater alumni who desperately needed to change the direction my life was headed. Therefore, I did something I’ve never done before.
I wanted to go dark and disappear behind my motorcycle. I wanted to disconnect and unwind the cluttered mess of my mind over thousands of miles of grit. Instead of doing what felt most comfortable to me, I did the most uncomfortable thing imaginable. Instead of going dark, I shined a spotlight into my private world and wrote down my most guarded thoughts as I navigated my way through rough seas. Great ship captains are not made in calm seas. I opened a heavy door and let strangers into my world during my quest to find peace and, dare I say, enlightenment.
In order to help civilians understand the hidden struggles warfighters face on a daily basis, one must first understand who we are and what values we hold closest to our heart. This journal allows the reader a transparent view into the world of a broken Army Ranger who’s trying to bring his life back to center; in a world in which he struggles to understand.
I kept a real-time public journal on a motorcycle forum called ADVrider. This book is based on my journal.
I've realized that I've lived an unusual life. I didn't realize how strange it was until I stopped to look around. The impact of my words and my unique writing style had an unexpected positive outcome in the world around me. I found a life worth living and paved the way for other veterans find a route that will ultimately lead to peace.
This is the face of severe depression, wrapped in a blanket of exasperation.